Down a Parent


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To say I’m learning a lot is an understatement.  I felt that since I have been through so many deployments and underways, returning to sea duty with older kids wouldn’t be hard (er).  I expected things to be different, but not any more difficult than before.  That was until we transitioned and I realized how much my husband was contributing while on shore duty.  It’s hard to explain, but I took the connivence factor for granted, not the husband.  I knew having him home was an asset, a gift.  I was more than thankful for his time, his ability to “be there” and the flexibility it gave me.  Now, I’m realizing it’s back to sticky notes, calendars, lists, and remembering it’s ok to ask for help.( <–that last one is still a hard one for me.)  Continue reading

Honey, Where is my Super Suit!?


Every time the red phone (aka the husbands work phone) rings at O’Dark thirty or my favorite time right after dinner, I think of the movie “The Incredibles” and this exchange of words between husband and wife.

Lucius: Honey?
Honey: What?
Lucius: Where’s my super suit?
Honey: What?
Lucius: Where – is – my – super – suit?
Honey: I, uh, put it away.
[helicopter explodes outside] Continue reading

Confessions of a Milspouse – I love my husband more than you love yours.


Every 6 months to a year, I try to re-share this one.

I want to share something I wrote back in 2009 answering a question from a wife in my Spouse Column, “Anything But Dependent.” I’ve updated it since then, and I hope you will share it with all your Milspouse friends. There are so many of us that need to be reminded of what it was like to be new and to reach out to those who are, be understanding, and support them.

Back in the day, I was a young wife, too

Dear Marie, I am a young 20-year-old Navy wife and my husband just left on his second deployment. I read your column about wives and you mentioned the young wife and that she thinks she loves her husband more than everyone else. Well, after being part of the command, I find that there are a lot of wives that don’t seem to love or even like their husbands. I don’t think it has anything to do with age, I just think there are some bad wives. ~The Young Wife

Thank you for the comment. I love getting emails from readers. Keep them coming! With permission from The Young Wife, I want to talk about this. I thought this was something we could all relate to. Being the young, new wife is not easy. I’m considered more of a seasoned wife at this point, but I can vividly remember my first deployment. I was married at 19 and my husband deployed when I was 21. I had a toddler running around me and one in my arms a few months old. I remember moving to this base and finding out that my husband would be deploying as our household goods arrived. It all happened so fast. I didn’t have time to cry.  Continue reading

The government shut down: Will the military be paid?


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Normally I wouldn’t write about this, but spouses and service members are concerned (rightfully so) once again. I was going to answer the most popular questions, but Military Spouse Magazine beat me to it and did a nice job. 

Click here for the full article from MSM.

It’s like getting back on a bike, right?


For those of you that have been there, done that, you get that sea duty is full of “the unexpected.”  I apparently forgot this over my two years of shore duty (or what I lovingly refer to as that time I put myself in a grown-up time out).  Back to back sea tours and a year of living apart tested me, my marriage, and by the amount I now spend on hair color, my sanity.  Shore duty was ah-mazing and I have no regrets that I took the much needed break.  I also realize how incredible it was that I had the option to do so.  BUT, it was only supposed to last until early 2013!   I *planned* that I would be writing full time and pursuing my own dream job by the beginning of 2013.  We are now inching towards the end of 2013 and I am just now sitting in a very dusty office.  I’m pretty sure I need to spend a full day just updating software programs and remembering where things are.  It’s a little overwhelming, but it feels good to be in my ‘space’.  We’ve had a few family and career hiccups and all I can say is that I’m grateful for healthy children, a strong marriage, and a beautiful life together.  Have you ever had one of those life moments that made you see the sky a little bluer or just made you stop everything and hug your kids/spouse a little harder?  That pretty much sums up my delays and I couldn’t be more grateful.  Today, I’m starting with this post and continuing on though my maze of a life.  I’ve realized writing on a blog can be fun, maybe more fun than a newspaper column?  I’ve even toyed with creating a more universal Blog about life, parenting, and more…Don’t get me wrong, I love this blog, but I created it with the idea of posting my columns and a few other stories here and there.  Being a ‘milspouse’ is only a small part of who I am and if I’m going to write more, why not encompass all the things that make up my life?  Lots to think about and consider.  Also, I’ve been approached by companies that want to sponsor or advertise on this site.  I’m not sure how I feel about this, either.  I’ve noticed other sites that have done it tastefully, but honestly I’m not sure I’m ready to make my hobby a ‘job’.

I’m crossing my fingers that this is just like getting back on a bike after a long winter.  I’m sure there will be some small swerves and I’ll forget that the brakes are so sensitive, but I’ll figure it out and it will be like I never took the break.  Thank you to all of my readers who follow my ramblings.  Now, let’s go for a ride. . . 

Boston


 

Boston Marathon logo 2015

No matter what the headlines read, there is still so much good in this world and it outweighs the bad. I’ve raised my children to look at the reaction, not just the action. Sadly, there will always be evil, but the good of humanity shined today when people ran towards the explosion instead of away, when runners ran to hospitals to give blood, and when we all opened our hearts and offered prayers and help. My closing line for my children today will be, “There were more good people than bad people in Boston today.” – Marie Hobson, Milspouse Writer

Lessons learned from a seasoned wife


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2013 came out of nowhere.  I’m pretty sure it was planned and possibly on people’s calendars, but I was delightfully unaware and living in denial.  To say this last year flew by would be an understatement.  I know people say things like, “I can’t honestly believe time has gone by so quickly,” but this statement rings so true to me.  Where did the time go? How did I get to this point of having a 10 and 14-year-old?  How are we already reporting back to sea?

I know this is partly our fault.  The Husband and I chose this path.  I agreed to the back to back sea tours before this shore rotation.  Now I see why shore duty is so important. I get it.  R&R is not a luxury.  It’s a necessity.  Would I go back and change things?  Yes.  We spent 7 1/2 years on sea duty. The last couple of years he was gone 10 out of 12 months, only to live apart (geo-bacheloring) for an additional year after it  all.  Yes, I would change it in a heartbeat.  All of this is said with hindsight.  In the moment I was supporting my husband.  I brought up these concerns, but they were quickly dismissed because we could do anything together. We were best friends and honest with what we needed from each other.  Now, I know love isn’t enough.  14 years later and I love my husband more now than our first kiss, more than our wedding day, more than the birth of our children, but love isn’t enough.  You can’t build a marriage on intermittent restricted emails and middle of the night calls from ports.  It doesn’t matter how much you love them.  You may be able to stay married, but no, you can’t build a marriage alone. Continue reading

Happy 2013. Here is your New Year reminder.


*Taken from the SITE DISCLAIMERS page of this blog. 

 

Disclaimers

I am not a therapist, social worker or doctor of any kind. I am a wife of an Active Duty Service Member, Mother, Writer, Designer, Friend, and this is a Blog, not WebMD. Any advice given is done so from “one spouse to another” and while done so with best intentions and years of experience, it is just my opinion andjust my advice. Please seek professional help when needed.
 
Legally, Morally and Just because I can…..
I can and will refuse to add or approve mean or hurtful comments to this Blog, affiliated websites, Facebook & Twitter. “Friends” added to all these sites are at my discretion and will be deleted, unfriended or banished if trouble from said person arises.
TheyCallMeDependent.com is NOT affiliated with the United States Navy, The Department of Defense or The Federal Government, nor are the opinions stated on this blog a representation of any organization. Continue reading
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