Filling the void of deployments by becoming the Osmonds of Soccer


IMG_3500Dad/Coach warming up his Son/Goalie  

Yesterday my husband calls very chipper from his office and says, “Hey! Do you want to play on an indoor soccer team with me and Zach (our 14-year-old Goalie)”?  A few things quickly went through my mind. 1) I don’t play soccer. 2) I don’t know how to play soccer. 3) He must be asking because they are desperate to find women for the team. 4) Zach loves to play with his Dad, but his MOM!?!?

Within seconds and without much hesitation I replied, “Sure, why not!?” My husband in shock says, “Really?? You’ll play??” (He’s been trying to talk me into this for a year or two) Me, “Yep. If you’ll teach me.” He yells back to another guy at the office, “She said YES!”  And he then lets me go.  Continue reading

Aloha! “They Call Me Dependent” is coming to Hawaii!


 

The last few months have been full of many, many things.  I’ve committed to my health and for the first time in years, followed through on working out.  7 lbs lost and I am feeling better than I have in a long time.  I will be continuing “Me vs The Jiggles” while on vacation and plan to cross my half way point and be down 10 or more pounds by the time I return.

Many curve balls have been thrown in my personal life, but I’m still standing and laughing.  What else can you do?  Well, you can go on a vacation which just happens to involve visiting your sexy husband in Hawaii.  That’ll make everything better!

A few weeks ago, the husband was talking about a work trip he had in Hawaii.  He looked at me and said, “You should come, even if I have to work, you need a vacation.”  I laughed at this idea.  Me?  Leave the kids?  That’s what HE does, not me.  I’m always home balancing my want to stay at home and my want to work and pursue dreams.  I’m always busy, but I like it that way.  My full life is rewarding, exhausting, and empowering.  I love what I do.  I didn’t think I *needed* a vacation.  Funny, as a Mom you think of needs vs wants.  I never once, in fourteen plus years ever considered *wanting* a vacation.  Continue reading

Ask the Wife: How do you fill the “Void”


            Picture from: http://randijasmine.com

Marie,

Thank you for writing this blog and sharing so much with the world.  I wanted to ask, how do you fill the void when your husband is away? Thank you for your answer and time. Respectfully, “A Sub Wife”

Dear Sub Wife,

Thank you for the kind words and heartfelt question.

At first I thought since I am a Sub wife, this would be an easy one, yet I find myself a little too close to see the answers at times.  This is a very broad question.  There are so many “voids” when my husband is away.  There is a void in my marriage, friendship, parenting, and family. In addition, my children have their own “voids” needing filled.  I can give you the standard issue of “keep busy,” but that is a broad answer.  Only a wife that has been there, done that, can truly explain what that “void” is.  And even if you know what it is, most of us don’t know how to fill it.  We just keep busy and try desperately to distract ourselves from the reality that it sucks.  Don’t be misled by my statement.  Staying busy is key, but it won’t fill the void.  It fills your time. Continue reading

Got Questions?


I’ve been getting a lot of duplicate questions by email, so I will start posting them (without the use of names/commands/etc) on my Facebook Page with my responses so others can have the answers too and chime in on advice! Just remember to read my “Disclaimer Page” where I make it very, very clear I am not a doctor and in no way is this site like WebMD.  I will give you my best answer (not the standard military one) or point you in the direction of someone who can answer it. All questions welcome, only select ones will be posted on Facebook. And no, I do not know the Muffin Man.

Thanks,

Marie

This may work, or end badly. . .we shall see.

E-mail


For Submarine Wives, email is golden.  We don’t get phone calls and letters. E-mail is our connection to the one we love. And before there was e-mail. . .gosh, I don’t even want to think about it!  With that said, I feel like I am having an actual relationship with my computer.  It’s pathetic, I know.  I have my MacBook going all day long.  Granted I spend a ton of time writing every day, but I take it to bed with me. . .Yes, I said bed. I don’t tuck it in and hold it close to me, but it does sit on “The Husbands” side of the bed.  And I’m sure I have mumbled something to it when I am frustrated.  SIGH. This can’t be healthy.   Continue reading

The Military Wife Prayer


I needed this today as I pulled out my Christmas decorations knowing that I would be without him.

I’m sure there is a spouse that needs it as much as I do right now.

A Military Wife’s Prayer
Author Unknown

Give me greatness of heart to see,
The difference between duty and his love for me.

Give me understanding so that I may know,
When duty calls him, he must go.

Give me a task to do each day,
To fill the time while he is away.

When he’s in a foreign land,
Keep him safe in your loving hand.

And Lord, when duty is in the field,
Please protect him and be his shield.

And Lord, when deployment is so long,
Please stay with me and keep me strong.

The Parents are coming. . .


This was an unplanned visit. My parents are coming in from St. Louis and don’t seem to get that this is work, not a vacation for me. They will be leaving freezing weather for my warm sunny porch and I will be getting ready to have two adults in my house which I must tote around to practices, games, and rearrange my schedule for work and play. I did politely inform the planner of the two, which would be my Mom that this wasn’t as good of a time as originally thought and that I would rather them come at a later date. With that said, they decided to still come now. If I knew I could say, “don’t come” without causing a family uprising, I would. I think a may have an anxiety attack, but other than that, I’ll make it through. Continue reading

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