2013 came out of nowhere.  I’m pretty sure it was planned and possibly on people’s calendars, but I was delightfully unaware and living in denial.  To say this last year flew by would be an understatement.  I know people say things like, “I can’t honestly believe time has gone by so quickly,” but this statement rings so true to me.  Where did the time go? How did I get to this point of having a 10 and 14-year-old?  How are we already reporting back to sea?

I know this is partly our fault.  The Husband and I chose this path.  I agreed to the back to back sea tours before this shore rotation.  Now I see why shore duty is so important. I get it.  R&R is not a luxury.  It’s a necessity.  Would I go back and change things?  Yes.  We spent 7 1/2 years on sea duty. The last couple of years he was gone 10 out of 12 months, only to live apart (geo-bacheloring) for an additional year after it  all.  Yes, I would change it in a heartbeat.  All of this is said with hindsight.  In the moment I was supporting my husband.  I brought up these concerns, but they were quickly dismissed because we could do anything together. We were best friends and honest with what we needed from each other.  Now, I know love isn’t enough.  14 years later and I love my husband more now than our first kiss, more than our wedding day, more than the birth of our children, but love isn’t enough.  You can’t build a marriage on intermittent restricted emails and middle of the night calls from ports.  It doesn’t matter how much you love them.  You may be able to stay married, but no, you can’t build a marriage alone. Continue reading →