Normally I wouldn’t write about this, but spouses and service members are concerned (rightfully so) once again. I was going to answer the most popular questions, but Military Spouse Magazine beat me to it and did a nice job.
I wrote this last year, on the ten-year anniversary of 9/11. A year later, my feelings are the same. Thank you to all those who gave and continue to give their lives to something bigger than themselves.
Just over ten years ago it was a beautiful day in St. Louis, MO when my then fiancé walked out of the federal building with a young sailor in his dress whites. He just enlisted in the United States Navy. I didn’t know he was signing the papers. I still had so many questions and felt a rush of emotion. He smiled at me as the Sailor said to me, “You are looking at the newest addition to the United States Navy!” He then shook my hand and walked away leaving Nick and I standing in the sunshine together. I’ll never forget Nick’s reassuring touch. He took my hand and would squeeze it over and over as we walked to my car. I wasn’t able to say anything yet. I didn’t know what to think about it all. I was madly in love with him, but he was leaving college to serve. He and I had spoken about it, but I didn’t ask the questions a soon to be military wife should ask. He opened my car door, kissed me and said, “Everything is going to be OK, I promise.” Continue reading
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I have done interviews and been quoted many times. Every once in a while they do a pretty good job and I like to give them kudos. I did a quick response to an Associated Press Correspondent yesterday about the possibility of longer submarine deployments. I’m sure he found me by the power of Google, and normally it’s hit or miss if my thoughts ever end up in the final draft or if they are even my words. I just try to take part when I can. I think it’s great that a spouse is heard in these discussions.
This morning was normal as I reached for my iPhone while still wiping the sleep from my eyes. . .Until I saw the number of e-mails and alerts. I guess I’m not the only one who Google’s people. My blog or column was not mentioned in the articles, but my name and that I had one was….so people and the power of Google found me and felt compelled to write. I love that….well so far. There are all nice emails for now. Continue reading
Re-posted at the request of a FRG. Thanks for reading ladies!
Your husband deploys. You find yourself worrying about him, where he
is, and what he is doing. Your body aches from the sleepless nights.
You feel drained and find yourself being snippy with your children,
friends, family, or co-workers. You mind is constantly going to stay
on task. For many of us, we read this and think, “Oh, she’s talking
about the cycles of deployment!” But, really these are also signs of
anxiety and depression. There are studies that suggest women
experience depression & anxiety up to twice as often as men. Hormonal
factors may contribute to the increase rate of depression; such as
menstrual cycle changes, pregnancy, miscarriages, postpartum period,
pre-menopause, and menopause. Women may also face unique stressors
such as responsibilities both at work and home, single parenthood, and
caring for children and aging parents. What is surprising to me is
that this study is talking about your every day civilian woman. If
you read through it again and think of the wife you know that had her
last child while her husband was deployed, or the one who is raising
four children under the age of 6 on her own, it takes on new meaning.
We go through these “moments” while dealing with deployments,
PCSing, and just every day military life. If a woman with out those
factors is at risk, just think where that puts us. Continue reading
Today’s military family is different from those of the past. What use to be easily distinguished roles between husband and wife are now blurred past recognition. My father who turns 73 in a month served in the Navy in the late fifties. He loved the Navy and loves telling stories of his days on board ship. There were no women on his Carrier and his mindset was, “That’s how it should be.” His wife was to be at home raising children, cooking, and cleaning. Continue reading
Life after deployment
Homecomings are the best part of deployment. The build up alone can bring a smile to your face. Children make signs and talk about all the things they’ll do with their dad, women pay extra attention to appearance, and husbands count down the days till they hold their wives in their arms and sleep in their own beds. It’s a wonderful time filled with anticipation and happiness. But what happens after all the banners and streamers are taken down? You are thrown back into a life that you haven’t been apart of in months. Things are different. Children have grown, expectations have changed, and lives went on. I see so many people go through this transition period and it really is different for each family. I’d like to believe that my marriage is strong and that we handle this life pretty well together. But after all the honeymoon fireworks, I find that it takes work to keep our marriage “in shape”. Continue reading
Posting some older stuff : ) This is from 2009, but new to this blog.
Do you suffer from Deployment Brain?
Have you ever heard of having “Baby Brain” or a “Pregnancy Moment”? Recently a girlfriend that is due next month to have a beautiful baby Boy mentioned she forgot to do something and claimed “Baby Brain”.
This made me laugh out loud. Every mother knows that while you are pregnant you feel as if you have lost a few brain cells, especially if it is not your first pregnancy. So, I have come up with a new one, “Deployment Brain”. It’s the perfect excuse, err, reasoning behind some of the completely stupid things I do. I swear I’m not like this when my husband is home, but I am also glad that he isn’t here to tell me I’m wrong. Continue reading
The National Anthem is a symbol of freedom and patriotism. You hear it at sporting events, memorials, special occasions and I heard it this morning at 4:45AM blaring from my husband’s iPhone. Why? Because he is evil. Ok, not *evil*…he is just starting his day off with a smile by making my eyes pop open and heart race. He could get up quietly, but I guess he was feeling a little mischievous this morning. Just hilarious. <–Sarcasm.
We have been together 12 years ( That’s like 50 in military years) and still we keep each other entertained. How are we still married and happy? We laugh. A lot. And when the National Anthem wakes me hours before my alarm goes off, I don’t throw my pillow at him. I roll over close my eyes, and fall back asleep smiling. How you ask? You have to. Just like how my husband can laugh at the fact that I bedazzled his collar device and nametags on his inspection coveralls knowing he puts them on in a dark bunkroom and wouldn’t notice it until someone pointed it out. What? Who doesn’t want to *sparkle*? Life is what you make of it, Happiness is a choice, and laughing is required. Have a great Monday!!